You Don't Need To Read This - It's Just Jibberish Anyway

May 22, 2008

I went to bed last night feeling that "odd" feeling I get when I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. When all my energy is going to a) making those around me all happy and b) not bothering anyone with the ever piling amount of crap that I'm trying to deal with. To be perfectly honest, I started feeling that at work yesterday. But I managed to keep pretty quiet instead of going "SHUDDAP SHUDDAP SHUDDAP GAH ARRRRRRRRRGH" or something to that effect. Keep in mind that I'm not directing that at anyone - except maybe myself.

The four lists I have on the go are getting longer and longer. Sometimes it seems as though I'm never going to get anything done. That with every step I take, I'm pushed back three. Like I'm chipping away at this big huge mound of cement and someone keeps pouring more on. That the sacrifices I'm about to make, that I'm making now, just aren't worth the effort it's taking out of me. That I'm pretty much in this alone - and that I caused this. Cause and effect. Action and reaction. The simple solution would be to take some of those lists and just throw them out - not bother with them anymore. I feel like I'm the only one making the effort anyway.

There! I've decided. Andy's going to watch Adam for an hour. Right now. I'm going to meditate on this. And I'll have my answer. One hour. :)

It doesn't have to make sense to any of you - it only needs to make sense to me. But thanks for reading it anyway :)

Have a great day all.