Stuff

So it went quite well, the doctor's appointment. We got there a bit early, which was fine for them because there were (gasp!) toys!

Long story short, we're going to keep an eye on Adam and see how school goes. We're going to meet with the doctor in November for an update on Adam's progress. As for Aaron, we're going to meet with a specialist in August for diagnosis. The doctor is leaning towards pervasive developmental disorder. Google it if you want.

As for everything else going on ... I'm rising, I'm dealing, and I'm just a little pissed. Things are going to have to change. I know I keep saying it, but it's getting harder and harder to deal. SO I'm going to start doing little things.

One thing that really pisses me off is when people blow smoke up my ass. I have two choices that I can see to deal with this. I could a) keep letting them do that while I nod and pretend that I don't know that they're doing this or b) just stop communicating with them. I could (obviously) talk to them about it, but that takes energy that I don't have. So screw it. And I'm sick of option a). So option b) it is.

Thing is, I'm trying my best here. I bend and weave and mold myself to make everyone else feel better. I try not to say how I feel or what I need. I try to be there for everyone else. But where the hell does that get me? Nowhere dammit! I'm still alone trying to figure all this shit out. I'm still being fed bullshit from people. And I'm to grin and bear it and ask for more? Well no more, people. I'm going to be myself and I'm going to start asking for my needs to be met and if that's not good enough then screw it!

Yeah, kinda pissed. I've been a fool for too long.