So yeah

I quit my job. I didn't even go into work to do it. I just called the Human Resources woman and left a message on her phone. I have no idea about the policies surrounding that - if they'll just "term" me or what. Frankly I don't care. I've been under so much stress lately. I do feel bad about leaving my supervisor in a lurch. But you know, I'm replaceable. I'm sure that they have pulled someone by now to lead the team.

I did that math last night. Taking into account the cost of the afterschool program, the Saturday nanny, the taxis, lunches, coffees, dressy clothes etc, I was taking home one quarter of my pay. So three quarters of it was eaten up by these expenses.

Ok, so let's take a look at that one quarter that I was taking home. I was working for approximately $1.85 an hour. For $1.85 an hour, I got to stress out if the before bus babysitter didn't show (which was A LOT). I got to rush to work in order to make it on time. I got to deal with more and more pressures at work. I got to rush from work in order to pick the children up from the after school program before it closed. I got to rush to catch the bus with the children. We got home at around 6:30. Then we had to rush through dinner, homework, baths, reading time and then bed. By Saturday, the children were tired, stressed, and cranky. I was tired, stressed and cranky. Not to mention all the other stuff going on that I'm not going into detail about here. That's all stuff I left behind when I quit so it's not relevant anymore.

All that for $1.85 an hour.

After talking about it with my husband, we agreed that it was better for the children (and myself) for me to stay home. He offered to work one extra shift a week (making it a five day week instead of a four). One extra shift a month more than makes up the money I was bringing home. So working four extra shifts a month insures that we'll be ok.

So I quit my job. I'm lucky. Not a lot of people have that choice. Too many people are forced to work because they can't afford not to. These are the same people that also have to rush around and try to time manage and have the same stresses that I was dealing with. So I feel very lucky that I'm able to do this.

This morning, as I was getting the children ready for school, I realised that I had so much more TIME. I didn't have to get myself ready for work. We had a leisurely breakfast without me trying to urge them on. We got dressed, brushed our teeth, washed our faces all without me looking at the time thinking "I hope she shows up today so I can make it to work on time". It was a good morning. And the children were calmer, I was calmer. We even had time to play outside a bit before the bus came. I completely focused on the children and made sure that they went to school with a smile.

It's better for them that I'm home. It's better for me that I'm home.

This was a good decision.

I will miss the people though. But I'm confident that I will see them often enough outside of work. After all, they live in my facebook :)

*hugs*